I Love You, Awkward Silences

Laughing out loud is not something I do with tremendous regularity.

Not that I'm not a happy person or anything, it's just that it takes something genuinely, unexpectedly, refreshingly funny to get me to break my otherwise Victorian stoicism and let loose with an audible chuckle or two. If it's predictable, or run-of-the-mill, or in the category of "I'm pretty sure they hired a chimp to write that," then I probably won't find it humorous in the least. But keep trying, Comedy Central...I'm sure you'll find a new idea for a show that's worth watching some day. Thank goodness for Stephen Colbert and Futurama reruns in the meantime.

But after smirking my way through a series of underwhelming comedies in recent memory, I was refreshed and delighted by I Love You, Beth Cooper. For a movie that centers around a high school graduation, this movie surprised me. Usually, you expect to see a lot of toilet humor (translation: easier than clever humor, and therefore not nearly as funny) and just as much sexuality of a gratuitous nature throughout the film.

Not so with this movie. Well, not entirely -- there is a subplot about the best friend and his assumed homosexuality, and there is a shower scene -- but in comparison to most teen comedies, these are handled relatively well on the shadiness meter and really don't distract from the overall feel of the movie.

And the overall feel is the key -- somehow, director Chris Columbus (I love that his company is 1492 Pictures -- he pretty much had that one mapped out for him at birth) finds a way to give the characters a depth that is usually lacking in these kinds of movies. Amidst the hilarity and the absurdity of what's happening to these people, there exists a reality that isn't just mushy or contrived. You find yourself laughing with the characters, not at them.

At least I did. Movies like this are always personally fun for me because...well, without going into too many details, I wasn't the most popular in high school. I'm sure there are many of us out there in the world, living normal adult lives now, but looking back at our prep days and just shaking our heads.

What's great about this movie isn't that the dorky kid gets the hot cheerleader (please, like you didn't know what was going to happen), or that the hot cheerleader finds some deeper truth to life besides being popular (again...nothing spoiled there).

The great thing is that you know what it's like to be there -- to be hopelessly awkward when the girl of your dreams finally talks to you, or to be swept up in the craziness of the moment and end up driving your ex-boyfriend's Hummer into the living room of the skank he was cheating on you with, or to be forced to pretend like you're calm and collected while you're so freaked out that you're wondering if it's possible to throw up your spleen.

I Love You, Beth Cooper is full of those awkward pauses, those moments between the moments, those silent hiccups in the flow of normalcy that can take your breath away. And it sticks with you on your way out of the theater because it's so unswervingly authentic. In a word, I think I might call this movie precious -- partly in a sarcastic way that refers to the inherent cuteness of these little high school kids having all this drama and craziness, but also partly in a way that means that it's something personal, something unique that each of us experiences by way of recalling our own youthful exploits.

And just to clarify, I'm not saying that this movie is going to rewrite Shakespeare, or that it's going to win major awards. But for what it is, it's really well done and genuinely funny to boot.

Some personal notes that you may or may not find helpful:

-- The main character (Dennis) totally reminded me of my brother Nate. He looks a little (just a little) like him, and I think the striped rugby shirt added to the overall picture, but even his mannerisms were enough like my bro that it was that much funnier for me.

-- Hayden Panettiere does a great job, and not just because she's absolutely adorable. She plays Beth Cooper in a way that is alternately confident and self-conscious, which totally rings true of what I see in high school kids, especially the popular ones. Given that she's only a few years removed from high school herself probably helped. But her performance just draws you to the character and adds more and more layers of authenticity to the film. Great work.

-- The blond friend of Beth's, Treece I guess her name is (had to IMDB that one), totally reminded me of this girl I just met recently. My friend Kaitlynn totally agreed. We're not exactly sure we should tell this girl though. I'll let you know how that turns out.

-- Another great performance by Dennis Cooverman's father, played by Alan Ruck (aka Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, among many other films) as well. He added another layer of humor and novelty that most actors in that role would not have acheived. And he's just a fun actor to see anyway. We were a little disappointed that he didn't have a 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California in his garage.

-- I will go see this movie again. If you want to come with me, let me know. It will be fun.

So, long story short, go see I Love You, Beth Cooper. It's funny, it's clever, it's deep but not too deep, and if your heart isn't at least a little warmed by the end, then you just shouldn't watch movies at all.

Original Gangsters

Sneaking beer into a midnight premiere of a movie: a little crazy.

Sneaking beer bottles into a midnight premiere of a movie: definitely crazy.

Sneaking beer bottles into the midnight premiere of Public Enemies: straight gangster.

And apparently the quartet of little 16-year-olds sitting down the aisle from me are more hardcore than I am, because the four of them somehow managed to sneak in more than six bottles, which they downed before the previews were done and spent the remaining time kicking over the empties and squeezing past me to get to the bathroom. Between the booze to my left and the four homeboys to my right who apparently bathed in Axe body spray before they left the house, I couldn't even taste my popcorn by the end of the movie.

But there was a movie going on, despite the repeated bathroom breaks the drunkies to my left needed to take. And it was a pretty good movie...but not quite as good as it could have been.

The movie Public Enemies tells the story of 1930s bank robber John Dillinger. This guy was more notorious than Al Capone, but somehow came out on the other side drawing comparisons to Robin Hood. He was a suave, good-looking (relatively; a quick Google image search shows you what suave and good-looking meant in 1933), charming man who did what we all wish we could do when The Man gets us down -- he did whatever he wanted.

The real-life story of Dillinger is fantastic and compelling; the man broke his associates out of prison in Indiana, stole more than $300,000 (which is over $4 million by today's standards) in less than a year of bank robbing, attacked two state police arsenals to stock up on weapons and ammo, traveled to Florida, Texas and Arizona to stay hidden from the authorities, was arrested after a fire broke out in his hotel and he was found with stolen money and guns, escaped custody in Arizona by stealing the sheriff's car, and became the number one most wanted criminal on the FBIs list.

Public Enemies does a good job of telling the story, but I kept waiting for the movie to choose the genre path it would take. When a movie comes out about a subject like this, it usually goes in one of two directions: it can either be an action movie with lots of gunfights, snappy one-liners and a larger-than-life feel (like Goodfellas or Pulp Fiction), or it can be a dramatic movie that focuses on the details of the story, the development of the character's thoughts, emotions and relationships, and seeks to connect the audience to the main character in some way (Road To Perdition, Scarface, etc).

This movie kind of half did both things. There was good action, but it wasn't sustained enough. They showed a few of the bank robberies, including a scene with Dillinger's trademark vault over the bank teller's counter, but then another quiet, dramatic scene came in on its heels. I was waiting for one of those action-movie montages, where they would show one robbery after another with the captions of the date and place underneath and a loud soundtrack that gets you pumped up about what's happening on screen. None of these things happened, and even the music was mostly disappointing, other than one main theme featuring a distorted guitar and a banjo that they should have played a lot more. They didn't even show Dillinger's most famous robbery, in which he and his gang pretended to be filming a bank robbery scene for a movie, which drew applause from the customers and bank employees. There are some good one-liners, including my favorite from Dillinger: "Good thing he was pretty, because he sure ain't called Whiz Kid Floyd."

But on the the other side, I felt like they didn't spend enough time developing Dillinger's relationship with Billie Frechette (played by Marion Cotillard, who gets strangely more and more attractive as the movie goes on). They meet, Dillinger pursues as only Dillinger can, and they end up together. I suppose it was one of those whirlwind encounters that happen every now and then in life, but by the end, the two are so powerfully and resolutely devoted to each other that it left me wondering how they got to that point. The same happens with Dillinger's best friend and number two man, John "Red" Hamilton. To emphasize what I mean, I had to look up that character's name on IMDB.com to figure out who he was. He was Dillinger's right-hand man, and there's a scene where the two of them share what appears to be a deep connection, but the movie doesn't really develop this or show how it came to be.

Overall, I enjoyed the movie, because I enjoy almost every movie I see. It's a good story with some good action and some good genuine moments. But it turned out to be a tad disappointing because of how good it could have been.

As we were walking out, I could tell that the gangsta-wannabe kids were disappointed. They wanted to see Johnny Depp busting caps and rolling with shorties in his pimped-out gangsta ride...but instead they just saw a bunch of white guys in gray wool suits driving old Fords through the midwest. Not that we're stereotyping or anything. It's OK, they were Mexican. We're allowed to make fun of them, right?

Run, Megan, Run!

Even when you're only 12 feet away from a gigantic screen, Megan Fox is still really, really cute.

I was reminded last night that I very much dislike seeing a movie on opening night, especially when that movie is the most highly-anticipated nerd movie of the summer...or in the top three at least.

I figured that showing up 30 minutes early for the midnight showing would be plenty of time to at least have a reasonable seat. Apparently nerds have an affinity for waiting in ridiculous lines and saving seats for more than two hours, because getting there half an hour early still left me and my friend Lindsay relegated to the very front row of the sweaty, acne-riddled theater.

Even from such an inconvenient viewing angle, the movie was exactly what it was supposed to be: entertaining. I knew from the first one that the plot wasn't going to be anything special, and that the acting would be reasonable. And in these expectations I was not disappointed. But the special effects, the action sequences, and the amount of running that Sam and Mikaela had to do made for an exciting 150 minutes that I will no doubt revisit in the near future.

I hear that some viewers were down on the movie for having a weird plot, bad acting and...well, just too much stuff going on. But that's what happens with every sequel, especially if the first movie was really good. The Matrix trilogy is the best example; the first movie was so mind-bottling (it was so great, it was like my mind was trapped, like in a bottle) and excellent that they had nowhere to go but down. And down they went, with successive movies that overloaded us with weird terminology, way-too-out-there characters and a plot that seemed to be pulling crap out of thin air whenever it needed to explain something.

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen did a little bit of this. Without ruining anything, there's a few instances where the writers seemed to be making stuff up as they went. It all kind of made sense, but it's almost as if the studio allotted the writers about 10% of the pre- and post-filming schedule and gave the other 90% to the post-production CGI team.

But even so, it's not like there were plot holes or things that were left unexplained. Well, not anything that normal people would notice, although I'm sure the nerd crowd will find a whole bunch of minuscule details to whine about on the internet. Which will clearly and finally solve the problem in the best possible way, as it always does.

My point is, this is a fun movie, and when treated as such, it's a very entertaining way to spend an evening. There are even a few truly genuine moments, including the psychologically intriguing relationship between Optimus Prime and Sam, which has the elements of a father and son, brothers in arms, and the dynamic of coming from different worlds but still finding a connection. Sam and Mikaela are also an interesting take on modern dating relationships; she's working in a garage while he goes off to college, they set up a webcam date...and they're still dealing with going back to "normal" life after getting sucked into an intergalactic war between giant transforming robots. And then they get sucked back into that same war between those same giant transforming robots, and have to deal with a relationship in the midst of all of it.

Quick side note, best line of the movie:

Sam: "You said it first."

Go see it to find out what that's all about. It's totally worth it.

I guess that's what I'm getting at; this movie isn't going to take the place of Gone With The Wind or anything like that, but all the nerds in the theater last night gave it an enthusiastic round of applause as the credits rolled, and I left feeling like I would like to have a giant transforming robot with two glowing red swords for a friend. Either that or Megan Fox in those boots running around with me. Yowza.

And after all, isn't that what we all really want, deep down inside?

We Always Suspected Jack Black Was A Caveman

...although, technically, in the movie, they lived in huts...

By Dan Kidder

If I'm going to write movie reviews -- which I am -- then I should probably explain, briefly, what my movie tastes are.

For one thing, I tend to enjoy the movies I see, partly because I don't go see movies I don't think I'll like, and also because most movies today are at least enjoyable on some level. And if it's really bad, it's nice to have someone there so we can make fun of how awful it is.

With that said, I must also say that there aren't very many movies that make it into my "must see" list. Most movies fall into the "it was a good movie, but I probably won't see it again" category for me. Glad we've got that straight.

For my reviews, I'm going to break up my analysis into three parts (before, during, after) and an overall conclusion. I'll do my best not to spoil anything, but if you want to go in fresh, you don't have to keep reading.

And now, the movie "Year One," starring Jack Black and Michael Cera.

Thoughts Going In: The trailer had some funny lines, and I like Cera's delivery...he's the perfect combination of awkward and uncertain, but still saying exactly what he's thinking. I expected it to be a bit raunchy (it is a Jack Black movie) and for there to be some swing-and-miss jokes at which only the lowest-brow moviegoer would laugh. Given the hint about the tree of knowledge and all that, I also was curious to see how "offensive" it would get.

For the record, I really don't believe in getting "offended," especially not over something so trivial as a movie. This should apply to the people outside the theater when "Angels & Demons" opened up, as they held their protest signs and compared Dan Brown to the devil. It's a movie. If you don't agree with it, you don't have to go see it. And now back to the review.

Thoughts During: They didn't mess around setting up too much plot or anything, but jumped right into the funny stuff in the first scene. I was in a full theater, and people laughed...a lot. I laughed out loud at a couple of scenes; one in particular that was so ridiculous I nearly choked on my cherry slurpee. I didn't see anything overly raunchy; they did drop some choice words here and there, but most of it was innuendo, which is clearly the smarter way to go about comedy these days.

Black is funny in the most random ways, including a scene in which he starts humming along with the background music that we in the audience assumed only we could hear. Cera delivers some very quotable lines, and the supporting cast is funny enough to keep things going without overshadowing the main characters. And the outtakes during the credits...good stuff.


Thoughts After: Seeing a comedy is different than seeing an action movie because you leave with a different feeling. After seeing "300" in the theater, I left feeling like getting in a fight with the guy walking in front of me, just because I was so pumped up.

After comedies, my usual feeling is one of general amusement, but without any specific physical result. This movie did what it was supposed to; I left feeling like I just had a great time.

The plot wasn't intricate, but it wasn't supposed to be. The story made sense though, despite some intentionally-overlooked historical inaccuracies (such as, Cain and Abel clearly did not exist at the same time as Abraham and Isaac). The Biblical aspect of the movie was interesting; they definitely took some liberties with how they presented the characters, but in the end they were so satirical that they shouldn't be offensive...they were just so over the top that it would be impossible to take any of it seriously.

The comedy and the story work together very well to make a movie that makes sense but isn't going to get anybody lost. The camaraderie between Black and Cera is developed very well, and the absurdity of romance in that time is explored with amusing results. Again, the subtlety of the innuendo through most of the movie is excellent, and it makes the more overtly physical comedy that much more funny. There are some funny gross moments, but nothing that would make most of us feel uncomfortable for long.

Overall Thought: Go see it. It's funny in a clever way, and it's clean enough to see with a date...unless your date is really picky about those things. Basically, if you like Jack Black at all, you will love this movie.

There you go...the first of what I hope will be many, many successful, enlightening, well-received movie reviews. Transformers 2 comes out next weekend, so be sure to check back then to see what I think.