When a young man dies, a world of possibilities suddenly becomes a nightmare full of questions for those closest to him.
But this weekend’s memorial service for Taylor Benjamin wasn’t about finding answers.
Those who knew Taylor best have the answers they need to find as much comfort that can be found in times like these.
“Something happened this week that helped put me at peace with all of this,” said Kristen Benjamin, Taylor’s sister. “His friends came over after we heard about what happened, and they told us that, at this party on Friday, out of the blue, Taylor just looked up at them and said that he was so happy, that he loved his family, his girlfriend and his friends. If nothing else, I know that he didn’t go out sad. He went out with a big smile on his face.”
Joined by a packed house of mourners and supporters at the Maxine Theater on Saturday, Taylor’s friends and family shared memories and thoughts about the young man who so deeply impacted their lives.
“Words can’t express what we’re going through as a family,” said Bill Benjamin, Taylor’s father. “I lost one of my two most precious gifts. He loved sports, he loved his teammates, and he always gave a hundred percent. At eighteen, he had already designed and begun to implement a career path to become an EMT, a paramedic and a firefighter – he was well on his way to realizing his dreams.
“He had great friends and he was very loyal,” he continued. “He would have done anything for them and he knew that they would do the same. Katie [Taylor’s girlfriend] made him very happy; she could light him up with just her smile.
“But I’ll never forget how I would always tell him ‘Taylor, you’re my best son.’ And he would smile that big smile of his and say, ‘Dad, I’m your only son.’”
“I became a whole new person when I met Taylor,” said Katie Darland, Taylor’s girlfriend. “He had an amazing smile – all he’d have to do was smile, and I couldn’t stay mad at him. He always took pride in how he looked, and he always looked good. You can imagine how frustrating it is to go out and your boyfriend is getting all the compliments on how good he looks.
“And when he started getting involved with the youth group at [Valley Center Community] church, I saw the changes it made in his life,” she added. “I was so happy knowing that we were on the same page spiritually.
“I’m so blessed to have gotten to know the Benjamin family. He looked up to his father so much, he respected his mother, and he was a great brother to Kristen.”
“He was my friend, my brother, and my confidant,” said Jeremy Rubio, one of Taylor’s closest friends. “He knew me no matter what. I always went to him if I needed somebody to talk to, and sometimes his answers just blew me away.
“He was free. He never left strings untied. He knew what it meant in the quote that, “The idea isn’t to live forever, but to create something that will.’ He started the trend in our group of guys to say ‘I love you man, I’ll see you later’ whenever we’d go our separate ways. And once some of us got over our fear of affection, it stuck.”
“I had a list of rules for dating my daughter, and one of them was that if you make her cry, I’ll make you cry,” said Rick Darland, father of Taylor’s girlfriend Katie. “And there was another time that he came over wearing those skinny jeans, and I told him that if he wanted to come around, he’d have to stop buying clothes from the girls’ section.
“But even after a year of my harassment, he still hung around, so I figured I’d better get to know him. And when I did, I found out what a hard worker he was, and I saw how great of a baseball player he was, and I found out about his spiritual growth from Craig [Taylor’s Bible study group leader], who had some fantastic things to say about him. After a while, our family get-togethers were never complete until Taylor was there.
“In times like these, you look for a comforting thing to say. But if you look at Taylor’s own words, he knew exactly what to say.”
The program for the service included a quote from a Bible study worksheet Taylor filled out while on a houseboat camping trip with his church youth group last summer. Taylor’s answer appeared on the front of the program, and read “I’ve learned that you don’t have to be perfect to be a Christian and that no one is a saint. As long as you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, you will be saved. As long as I believe and show faith, I will be saved and with Him for the rest of eternity…very comfortable to know that.”
Some of Taylor’s mentors and friends from Valley Center Community Church (VCCC) also shared how they had seen the positive changes being made in his life over the past year.
“When I first met him, I was just drawn to him,” said Josh Rau, one of the leaders in Taylor’s Bible study group. “He was always asking questions, and he reminded me a lot of myself at that age. It blew me away that he approached us and wanted to start a small group Bible study with his friends. He had a sense of urgency and a strong desire to know God more.
“When I heard what happened, I wanted so badly to know what to do or what to say. I know he’s in heaven now with his grandpa, and I don’t know if you can hear me, but I just want you to know that I’m truly blessed to have known you. It worked both ways – God used you to help me, it wasn’t just me helping you. You’ll always be in my heart and in my memories, and you will never be forgotten.”
“Unlike most of you here, I only knew Taylor for about thirteen months, but I witnessed a miracle,” said Craig Miller, Taylor’s small group leader. “The man I got to know was not the man I met. We talked about how intentional God is about catching your heart at just the right time. Taylor’s fine right now – he’s in heaven. If he were here, I’m sure he would be worried about each of you and whether or not you were going to be there with him someday too.
“He always had that sense of urgency to find out more about God. When I asked his family if I could see his notes from our Bible study, the first one I got back was a study that we had only just started, but Taylor had already gone through and finished the study on his own and answered all the questions. So in his honor, we’re going to start a new Bible study so that others will have the chance to experience what Taylor experienced in his relationship with God.”
After the service, some of Taylor’s high school baseball teammates shared their memories.
“I grew up playing baseball with him, and he was just an awesome human being,” said Justin Lawrence. “I’ll always remember the pep talks he would give before our games, and how he could always put a smile on your face. He was a fun dude to be around.”
“He was one of the funniest guys I’ve ever met,” added Tyler Bernard. “He was a great teammate and so much fun to be around. He would always give those inspirational speeches before the game. I’ll always remember him.”
Perhaps it was Jeff Stevens, one of the elders at VCCC and the host of the church’s yearly houseboat trip for the high school students, who best addressed the questions swirling around such a tragic loss.
“Who is Taylor? He is a man of faith,” he said. “In his quote, he said that no one is a saint. I would have to disagree with him on this point – Taylor is a saint because he was a man of God. He was overjoyed to live life to the fullest. He was a ‘go big or go home’ kind of guy. He was always smiling. He was real. He wanted significance.
“Some of us want to question the way he died. I’m here to tell you – it does not matter. Why? Because God wanted him to come home. God called Taylor home, and Taylor will never be forgotten.”
Donations can be made to Valley Center High School Foundation Baseball – Taylor Benjamin, PO Box 1029, Valley Center, CA, 92082.
