Six months after accident, Conrad Murphy focuses on the positive

Conrad Murphy finds a way to keep smiling in tough times

Click here to see more recent photos of Conrad

By Dan Kidder

Six months ago, Conrad Murphy was clinging to life after he survived a terrible head-on car crash while on his way to baseball practice.

And until just over a month ago, the 2010 Valley Center High School graduate says that he didn’t completely believe that what was happening to him was real.

Murphy says that his memories of the early days of his recovery are like a dream—flashes of clarity mixed with confusing, muddled images that don’t fit together. What brought him back to a mostly-conscious state was the pain of a terrible side effect from all the necessary antibiotics pumped into his system.

“I remember what we were doing two days before the accident, and then I thought I remembered waking up, but it was just a hallucination or a dream or something,” he says. “But the first thing I remember after the accident is waking up in horrible pain. The C-DIF bacteria that I got from the antibiotics was horrible, it was the most pain I’ve ever been in. I honestly thought about suicide, it hurt that bad.”

But even as his physical health improved, he says that he kept expecting to wake up and be back to normal.

“Something happened when I saw my truck,” he says, describing the first time he saw the mangled remains of the vehicle that bore the brunt of the head-on collision. “I don’t know if it was a side effect of my injuries, but for a while, I thought it was all fake, like a hallucination or like The Truman Show or something. But when I saw what was left of my truck, I knew it was all real.”

“Anybody who sees that truck, it just leaves you in awe,” says Murphy’s dad, Jim. “Behind the driver’s seat, you can see where there was a pool of blood, and the effect that has on you, it makes you think twice. I haven’t seen them, but I was told that one of the paramedics took some photos at the scene, and the way the column behind the driver’s door was smashed into Conrad’s head, they were amazed that he was still alive. Once we saw that truck, we realized all over again just how lucky we are that he’s alive.”

That was in September, and now, with six months of recovery behind him since the accident, Murphy says that it’s been a difficult journey, but he’s able to see just how well he’s doing.

“When I first got out of the hospital, I was very discouraged,” he admits. “What keeps me going now is a mixture of hope and rage. I have hope that I’m getting better, but I’m angry that this happened to me just because some guy weaved into my lane. I am getting better though, and that hope keeps me positive. And the rage helps me work harder in therapy. I look at where I was three months ago, and I’m really hopeful about where I’ll be three months from now.”

Murphy acknowledges that his athletic training helped him prepare for the occupational therapy he goes through now, but he also says that there were dark days when he didn’t know how he would make it through.

“God helped me get through it, and it helped that I was too lethargic to follow through on committing suicide,” he says. “But it was really tough.”

Murphy has three sessions a week in occupational therapy and one session in psychology, helping him exercise his brain as it recovers. He says that the injuries to his brain have been the hardest to deal with, both in how his mental processes have changed and in how other people relate to him.

“Most people can understand a disability, but this has been hard because you don’t know how much other people can affect you,” he says. “So many people have been so encouraging, and the whole Valley Center community did so much. But one guy told me not to get my hopes up, and I know that he was trying to be helpful, but it came at a bad time and I took it horribly, and it really discouraged me.

“But that’s part of what a brain injury does,” he continues. “I don’t have any short-term memory issues, but I still deal with a lot of anxiety and fear. It’s really scary sometimes, like you know how you get that feeling like somebody’s right behind you? I’ll get that sometimes. I’m still scared that I’ll get hurt again, so I don’t like going in vehicles.”

But Murphy’s progress has been remarkable—his family was told that he had less than a two percent chance of surviving his injuries, and when it became clear that he would survive, he was told that he would most likely not be able to walk again. And even though his vision has been affected—Murphy went from 20/10 vision before the accident to needing to wear glasses for his 20/30 vision—he was told that his injuries should have left him blind. He still doesn’t have the full use of the left side of his body—a sensation he describes as a feeling “like my arm is asleep, times ten.”—but he is able to walk, talk and see, and still regularly beats his brother at chess.

“I don’t want to brag or anything, but I shouldn’t be doing as well as I am right now,” Murphy says. “I’m setting my own goals, and right now, I want to be able to jog again. I used to jog up the hill behind our house every day, and I loved it. I’ve been approved to lift weights again, so I’ve been able to lift ninety-five pounds in therapy, which is better than lifting PVC pipe like I was a few months ago.”

As he walks around the house, cracks jokes with his family, hangs out with his friends, practices the piano and the guitar, and continues to improve, Murphy says that he’s able to keep a positive outlook through everything.

“I’m blessed, because things could be a lot worse,” he says. “I’ve been through a lot, and in a lot of ways, it’s still miserable. But I can focus on the positive now. I try to look at the good things, like how I have a really cool story and a lot of great sympathy scars. I don’t want to sound dumb or clichéd or whatever, but I really try to stay positive and stay hopeful, because no matter how bad things are, it could always get worse.”

Murphy and his family are also incredibly grateful to the Valley Center community for all the support they’ve received, from the hugs and handshakes to the love and prayers to the tireless efforts of those who organized the fundraiser concert in July.

A fund-raiser golf tournament for Murphy will be held on Jan. 24 at the Fallbrook Country Club.

To pass on your words of encouragement to Conrad, search Facebook for the page “Get Well Soon, Conrad Murphy.”

Benefit concert marks another chapter in Conrad Murphy’s story--Event raises more than $30,000 for Murphy’s ongoing recovery

To see more photos from the Conrad Murphy Benefit Concert on our Facebook page, click here for a gallery of photos by Dan Kidder and click here for a gallery of photos by Gabriel Santana.

By: Dan Kidder
When you live in a community like Valley Center, it doesn’t take long to see how powerfully and passionately people come together to help others in their time of need.

I met Conrad Murphy when baseball season started this spring, and I could easily see why his coaches and teammates spoke so highly of him. His hard work and dedication to the game were obvious, but this quiet, contemplative young man impressed me with his thoughtful observations and the specific encouragements he gave his teammates.

Like the rest of you in our community and beyond, I followed the next chapter of Conrad’s story from day one with a mixture of sadness and hope. It broke my heart to see the Facebook posts from his friends as the news spread about the car accident that Saturday morning in April. When I stopped by the hospital to say hello to the Murphy family that Monday night, I was encouraged to see so many people there supporting, encouraging and loving them in such a difficult time.

And when I asked Conrad’s friends to write in with their stories about him, I was amazed at the consistent threads of kindness, generosity, humor and perseverance woven into their words. As the days and weeks rolled by, we all celebrated the small victories—from Conrad opening his eyes for the first time to waking up fully to wiggling his toes to remembering sign language—all the way up to the day he got to go home again, nearly nine weeks after the accident.

Saturday’s benefit concert at Bates Nut Farm was so much more than just a group of well-wishers paying lip service to a kid they’d never met. No, our community joined with those in Conrad’s hometown of Fallbrook, as well as communities from all across the county, the country and the world—Conrad has been receiving little messages of encouragement in the Facebook group “Get Well Soon, Conrad Murphy,” some of which have come from places such as Australia and the United Kingdom—to do what we all know our community would do for us in a situation like this.

We got together and made a difference.

Signs for the Conrad Murphy Benefit Concert started popping up around town—and around the interwebs—before the official lineup of entertainers had been finalized. Hardly a conversation could be ended without a half-question, half-admonition—“See you at Conrad’s concert?” And when the day arrived, there was a general sense of excitement in the air—different than what you feel at the annual Western Days celebrations or a home football game for the Jaguars, which are always fun—as though we all knew that we were a part of what was happening, not just spectators sitting on the sidelines. We all helped Conrad write this chapter of his story, and we couldn’t wait to celebrate with him because we’ve been celebrating with him all along the way.

I have to say, our community knows how to celebrate. The music was fantastic, with a little bit of something for everybody—from the show tunes of A Little Bit Of Broadway to the pop/country mix of Morgan Leigh to the praise music of the Ridgeview Church Worship Band to the toe-tapping country of Heidi & The Hurricane. I arrived right at 4 p.m., and it wasn’t long before the wonderful aroma of the barbecue started plucking at the strings of my appetite. It was a tough choice between tri-tip, chicken or hot dogs, but I noticed that a lot of folks simply opted for one of each, which is never a bad choice with cooking like this.

The silent auction items were numerous and incredible, with an entire row of tables dedicated to autographed memorabilia from Major League Baseball, including a baseball signed by the entire 2011 National League All-Star team, a Barry Bonds autographed bat, an Adrian Gonzalez autographed jersey and a host of items from the Padres and Rangers.

And that was just the beginning. There were items that ranged from quilts and beautifully-crafted wooden bowls all the way up to a stove and two washing machines and a week’s free lodging in Costa Rica. There were even lots of activities for the kids, from an inflatable bouncy castle to pony rides to a cake walk to a football toss game.

Halfway through the event, one of the helicopter crews from Mercy Air landed in the field and invited the crowd to see the craft that carried Conrad to the hospital after the crash. But even with a helicopter landing nearby, it was still easy to see that Conrad was the real star of the show. Being back at home has had a very evident positive effect on him—even since his graduation ceremony in the hospital a month ago, his speech is vastly improved, his general demeanor seems much more at ease, and he is able to walk around with the help of a cane, something that seemed unimaginable just a few months ago. There was a pretty steady stream of people who found Conrad in his seat in the shade and stopped by to say hello, to wish him well, and to give him a few words of encouragement.

One particularly poignant moment came when the firefighters who were first on the scene at Conrad’s accident came to say hi. There wasn’t much to say between them, but they both expressed how amazing it was to see Conrad doing so well after coming so far from where they found him that day.

And after all the handshakes, hugs, silent auction bids and swinging tunes, the exhausted but happy concert organizers took one last moment to look around and appreciate what the night meant. When all the numbers were added up, the benefit concert raised more than $30,000 for Conrad and his family as he continues to work through physical therapy and the many challenges of full recovery yet to be faced. But more than the numbers, the Conrad Murphy Benefit Concert was another reminder that this young man’s story is far from being written.

And we are privileged to have been a small part of it.