Monday, November 14, 2016

We Still Need Each Other


So...did anything interesting happen this week?

(Insert obligatory "I wasn't going to comment on the election but I just blah blah blah..." line here)

I think it's fair to say that none of us has seen anything quite like this before.

I didn't see it coming. Not a lot of people did. Some people are really happy and excited. Others are decidedly not. Wherever you happen to fall on that spectrum, it really seems like we're in uncharted territory.

Before we go any further, I just want to give you a heads-up: my aim in writing this is not to pronounce anything to be good or bad, nor is it to make any recommendations for anyone to follow. We're all adults. Feel how you want to feel and behave how you want to behave. America, and all that.

What I do want to discuss is what I hope to be a more clear understanding of what's actually happening. I know that I have a limited scope of understanding because I can only speak from one viewpoint: mine. My experience isn't your experience, so if this helps you understand things better, that's super. Maybe not like Super Moon super, but really...what can be, am I right? Anyway...if this doesn't resonate with you, then feel free to move on to something that speaks more to your experience. For those who are still on board...here we go.

First, I think that what's happening in America right now is what was designed to happen.

Not because of any one prevailing ideology or political leaning, but because of any society's ongoing need to balance out the two sides of conservative and progressive. In their most basic forms, I think these two ideologies can be boiled down to the mindset of approaching reality in terms of What Is (conservative) or in terms of What Should Be (progressive).

Just to get this out there: we need both sides. Dealing with the What Is of life is essentially approaching each issue with an acknowledgement that things aren't perfect, but sometimes we just need to work with what we've got and do the best we can. A person with this outlook tries to assess things with as much practicality as possible, realizing that they may have to make some tough decisions that essentially take two (or more) imperfect options and makes a decision because a decision needs to be made. At its extreme, this mindset can lead to an unwillingness to change, a lack of empathy and a suck-it-up-and-just-do-it attitude towards anyone who disagrees.

On the other hand, the What Should Be mindset also acknowledges the imperfection of the situation, but pushes the What Is crowd to do what's necessary to make things better down the road. This push for change is needed to make sure that an ever-evolving society doesn't get bogged down in what was good for the majority of everyone 50 years ago. But taken too far, it can also push the boundaries of what is good into what may not be practical for everyone just yet.

Think of it this way: your refrigerator stops working.

The situation exists and you need to respond. The What Is person correctly assesses that the perishables need to be kept cold, so you grab your picnic cooler, put in some bags of ice, and load up your leftovers and condiments. Problem solved.

But wait, says the What Should Be person, we can't just keep our food in a cooler! We need a new refrigerator! This is also a correct response. Buying bags of ice for your cooler isn't economically responsible, and the cooler is way smaller than the fridge. Off to Sears (assuming they still exist) to buy a shiny new brushed steel refrigerator with the touch-screen temperature gauge and a GPS function and a really nice female voice with a British accent to tell you when you're low on eggs! Problem solved!

Hang on there, WSB (I'm going with initials now, this train is in full run-away mode), says the WI voice. We definitely can't use a picnic cooler on the kitchen floor forever, and while it would be nice to have all those fancy features, we just can't afford all that right now. Maybe someday, but for right now, we just need to fix the old one so we can get our food cold again.

And then the WSBs agree, but remind the WIs that we can't keep fixing the old one if it's going to keep breaking down, so we need to make a plan to get that fancy new one someday soon. And then the WIs agree, and everyone shakes hands, and no one is a racist. The end!

So this is how it should work. Obviously, the issues facing our country aren't as simple as a broken appliance, nor are the people who represent these ideologies anything approaching perfect, so what happens in this push-pull of compromise is that A) no one ever gets everything they want, and B) this sometimes hurts and is hard to accept.

In the midst of this pain and difficulty, it can be really hard to remember that the person on the other side is just as necessary to the process as I am. Will they get it exactly right all the time? Of course not. Do I get it exactly right all the time? Well, I'm not Super Moon so...that's a negative, Ghost Rider. We still need each other.

Here's where any good internet think piece would give you a "here's what to do now" paragraph. I don't have one of those. Like I said earlier, you can think and feel and process what's happening in any way you like. Other people may disagree, and they can also think and feel and process in whatever way they like. I hope we can all be nice to each other while we do this, but even if we aren't, that's OK. We're all at different landmarks on our journey, if you can look past the tired metaphor with me. Not everyone is going to respond in the same way.

I can control how I respond, at the very least. And as much as I'd like to wax eloquent on all the things I'm going to do or try to do (and if you could see how many paragraphs I've started and deleted, you'd have a better idea of these things), I just can't think of anything to say that doesn't sound trite and saccharin. It's a messy world and our country has a lot going on right now. My overly-simplified take on the subject is just one view, like staring really hard at the corner piece of a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle. That's what it all is, really; just a small part of a much larger picture.

A picture...(dramatic pause)...of Super Moon. I mean America.

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