Six months after accident, Conrad Murphy focuses on the positive

Conrad Murphy finds a way to keep smiling in tough times

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By Dan Kidder

Six months ago, Conrad Murphy was clinging to life after he survived a terrible head-on car crash while on his way to baseball practice.

And until just over a month ago, the 2010 Valley Center High School graduate says that he didn’t completely believe that what was happening to him was real.

Murphy says that his memories of the early days of his recovery are like a dream—flashes of clarity mixed with confusing, muddled images that don’t fit together. What brought him back to a mostly-conscious state was the pain of a terrible side effect from all the necessary antibiotics pumped into his system.

“I remember what we were doing two days before the accident, and then I thought I remembered waking up, but it was just a hallucination or a dream or something,” he says. “But the first thing I remember after the accident is waking up in horrible pain. The C-DIF bacteria that I got from the antibiotics was horrible, it was the most pain I’ve ever been in. I honestly thought about suicide, it hurt that bad.”

But even as his physical health improved, he says that he kept expecting to wake up and be back to normal.

“Something happened when I saw my truck,” he says, describing the first time he saw the mangled remains of the vehicle that bore the brunt of the head-on collision. “I don’t know if it was a side effect of my injuries, but for a while, I thought it was all fake, like a hallucination or like The Truman Show or something. But when I saw what was left of my truck, I knew it was all real.”

“Anybody who sees that truck, it just leaves you in awe,” says Murphy’s dad, Jim. “Behind the driver’s seat, you can see where there was a pool of blood, and the effect that has on you, it makes you think twice. I haven’t seen them, but I was told that one of the paramedics took some photos at the scene, and the way the column behind the driver’s door was smashed into Conrad’s head, they were amazed that he was still alive. Once we saw that truck, we realized all over again just how lucky we are that he’s alive.”

That was in September, and now, with six months of recovery behind him since the accident, Murphy says that it’s been a difficult journey, but he’s able to see just how well he’s doing.

“When I first got out of the hospital, I was very discouraged,” he admits. “What keeps me going now is a mixture of hope and rage. I have hope that I’m getting better, but I’m angry that this happened to me just because some guy weaved into my lane. I am getting better though, and that hope keeps me positive. And the rage helps me work harder in therapy. I look at where I was three months ago, and I’m really hopeful about where I’ll be three months from now.”

Murphy acknowledges that his athletic training helped him prepare for the occupational therapy he goes through now, but he also says that there were dark days when he didn’t know how he would make it through.

“God helped me get through it, and it helped that I was too lethargic to follow through on committing suicide,” he says. “But it was really tough.”

Murphy has three sessions a week in occupational therapy and one session in psychology, helping him exercise his brain as it recovers. He says that the injuries to his brain have been the hardest to deal with, both in how his mental processes have changed and in how other people relate to him.

“Most people can understand a disability, but this has been hard because you don’t know how much other people can affect you,” he says. “So many people have been so encouraging, and the whole Valley Center community did so much. But one guy told me not to get my hopes up, and I know that he was trying to be helpful, but it came at a bad time and I took it horribly, and it really discouraged me.

“But that’s part of what a brain injury does,” he continues. “I don’t have any short-term memory issues, but I still deal with a lot of anxiety and fear. It’s really scary sometimes, like you know how you get that feeling like somebody’s right behind you? I’ll get that sometimes. I’m still scared that I’ll get hurt again, so I don’t like going in vehicles.”

But Murphy’s progress has been remarkable—his family was told that he had less than a two percent chance of surviving his injuries, and when it became clear that he would survive, he was told that he would most likely not be able to walk again. And even though his vision has been affected—Murphy went from 20/10 vision before the accident to needing to wear glasses for his 20/30 vision—he was told that his injuries should have left him blind. He still doesn’t have the full use of the left side of his body—a sensation he describes as a feeling “like my arm is asleep, times ten.”—but he is able to walk, talk and see, and still regularly beats his brother at chess.

“I don’t want to brag or anything, but I shouldn’t be doing as well as I am right now,” Murphy says. “I’m setting my own goals, and right now, I want to be able to jog again. I used to jog up the hill behind our house every day, and I loved it. I’ve been approved to lift weights again, so I’ve been able to lift ninety-five pounds in therapy, which is better than lifting PVC pipe like I was a few months ago.”

As he walks around the house, cracks jokes with his family, hangs out with his friends, practices the piano and the guitar, and continues to improve, Murphy says that he’s able to keep a positive outlook through everything.

“I’m blessed, because things could be a lot worse,” he says. “I’ve been through a lot, and in a lot of ways, it’s still miserable. But I can focus on the positive now. I try to look at the good things, like how I have a really cool story and a lot of great sympathy scars. I don’t want to sound dumb or clichéd or whatever, but I really try to stay positive and stay hopeful, because no matter how bad things are, it could always get worse.”

Murphy and his family are also incredibly grateful to the Valley Center community for all the support they’ve received, from the hugs and handshakes to the love and prayers to the tireless efforts of those who organized the fundraiser concert in July.

A fund-raiser golf tournament for Murphy will be held on Jan. 24 at the Fallbrook Country Club.

To pass on your words of encouragement to Conrad, search Facebook for the page “Get Well Soon, Conrad Murphy.”