The pinnacle of my life thus far...and I'm only exaggerating a little bit...Ah yes, Comic Con Friday.
Like a circus without a ringmaster, the Con hits another gear on Friday with a influx of new arrivals who aren't dedicated enough to take off of work on a Thursday, or who aren't dedicated to just not have a job in the first place. What a bunch of corporate sellouts.
I, on the other hand, claim the good fortune of a job that allows a trip to Comic Con to be classified as "work," with only a near-constant stream of professional e-mails blowing up my phone every 17 seconds as a downside.
My press pass came in extra handy this morning, because (as I'm sure we all knew), today was Olivia Munn day! Everyone's favorite sexy Asian tech show hostess (if you've never heard of her, rest assured -- you will, and soon) had a full schedule, beginning with a meet and greet with her exclusive fan club at 1o am. Those of us in the OMFG (Olivia Munn Fan Group) received a clandestine e-mail from some sort of intern signing Olivia's name this week, and there were a lot of fans wating outside the Atom.com booth, where Miss Munn was announcing her partnership with the company in producing some Star Wars-related Webisodes that will debut soon.
The thing is, the Con doesn't officially open until 9:30 am, so the people with the non-famous person badges had to wander helplessly outside, while a quick flash of the press designation (and, I'm sure, the recognition factor reserved for those of us in the upper echelons of celebrity) quickly allowed me entrance to the nearly-deserted floor.
There were still about 20 fans already there, lining up in an orderly fashion (which I'm getting better at) and alternating between quasi-awkward chatting with their neighbors and anxiously checking the doorway for signs of Olivia. But within seconds of my arrival, the floodgates were opened and the steaming mass of humanity known as Comic Con surged into the main hall. It took under a minute for the line to wrap completely around the booth, and still people came. By the time Olivia showed (at about 10:15), a horde of people converged on the site like zombies to a sorority girl. She managed to get into the booth and say a quick hello to the group before starting the individual photo/autograph sessions, but the crowd was still growing dangerously.
I managed to get her attention with the pie I brought for her (yes, I bought her a pie; she's a well-known pie aficionado, and she mentioned in a recent article that she especially likes the quality offerings of the Julian Pie Co., so I figured it was a no-brainer). Sadly, I have no video evidence of what transpired (I think I hit the wrong button...grr), but here's a basic synopsis of what the "conversation" was like:
Me: (gesturing towards pie and smiling, saying nothing)
Olivia: (smiling) You brought me a pie?!? That's great!
Me: Yes, I did, because I know you like them, and I am not desperate and creepy, I promise.
Olivia: Oooh, what kind is it? (Not seeing the label on the box she is holding in her hands at this point)
Me: I think it's apple mountain berry...did I mention the not-creepy thing already? Just want to make sure we get that across.
Olivia: (Thinking for a second) You know, with all these costumes I'm wearing for the show [Attack Of The Show's live broadcast on Saturday], most of them are pretty skimpy, so I'm on a diet. And you bring me pie? F*** YOU!
Me: (still silently holding onto one end of the pie box, wondering if I should offer to split it with her)
Olivia: I'm just kidding, I love it! Thank you so much! (Puts it down with her stuff to turn her attention elsewhere)
Me: (as she's walking away, trying to be kind of loud but actually speaking in almost a whisper) Hey, that's...yeah...I'm not...creepy...
And...*scene*.
Well, it wasn't exactly that, but it was close. She literally did say the line about the skimpy costumes and she did also say "F*** YOU!" right to my face -- but we get each other's sense of humor that way, so everybody laughed. It was the coolest cussing out I've ever been a part of. If I can manage to get in to the AOTS autograph session on Saturday, I think I'm going to ask her to help me re-create that moment on video -- complete with awkward line delivery and a turn-to-the-camera-thumbs-up finish. I'll let you know how that turns out.
Anyway, before my part of the line could even get inside the Atom.com booth, some killjoy from Comic Con came in and said that there were way too many people in that area and that the whole thing had to move outside. Olivia and her entourage made a break for the front doors, but she didn't get 20 feet before the crowd closed in around her:
She signed a few autographs, took a few photos, but about 45 seconds later, the security team was plowing her through the crowd towards the rear entrance. Wow that sentence sounds dirty...purely unintentional...my apologies. But a pretty accurate visual of what followed would be that of an old-fashioned fox hunt, only instead of English horseman chasing a helpless woodland animal, substitute in a chubby, hustling horde of nerds trying not to obliterate the other innocent convention-goers in a mad dash down a back hallway, up some stairs, and out onto the steps at the rear of the convention hall overlooking the harbor. And I'm quite proud to say that my level of fitness is such that I easily kept pace with Miss Munn and her security goons, even up the stairs (two at a time, thank you very much), while the rest of the geeks were sucking on their inhalers and cowering away from the sun like it was an attacking dragon.But the now-infamous Munn Run '09 soon concluded, and the business of once again forming an orderly line was underway. I will say this, for as much as lining up is hardwired into the DNA of the Con veteran, it took a rather stern warning from the security officials to finally get the crowd to stop pushing. Once the excitement of the chase died down, the crowd (herd?) settled back into its normal state of calmly waiting in line:
Olivia took time with everybody, including yours truly (as you see in the photo at the top), to sign autographs, take pictures, chat briefly about anything and everything, and even to accommodate some of the more... original requests:
...or offer some of her own suggestions, for some reason:
She was gracious, despite the inconvenience of having to change the location; she was warm and friendly, she was genuinely excited to be there, and none of it came across as false or contrived in any way. That seems to be the hallmark of Olivia Munn -- the best of both worlds. She's gorgeous, but approachable. She's smart, funny, and engaging, while also being real and not above dropping an occasional f-bomb or talking about poo (which we'll mention more on later, if that's any incentive to keep reading). She's a celebrity, but she still very much considers herself a regular person with the outstanding fortune of being able to essentially be wacky for a living (and have people virtually worship her all the while).The people around her seem to feed off this attitude, and we, the fans, got to see some of how that works in the Attack Of The Show (AOTS) panel.
For starters, this was my first panel, so I wasn't sure exactly what to expect. I'd hear stories and seen clips from previous years, so I knew what the format would be like -- but I had no idea what was going to happen with the lines, the seating, the cooperation of the fans, etc. So I headed up to the meeting room about an hour and a half before the 1:15 pm scheduled start time, since I was told that popular panels like AOTS typically have people "squatting" in prior panels to save seats. This I found to be more than true, and with a sly bit of sidling into the middle of a moving line, I managed to get into the room and into an empty seat about ten rows back. I did, however, have to sit through the panel for Nickelodeon's The Fairly Oddparents, which included some cartoons that I thought were written by middle schoolers, but somehow drew uproarious laughter from most of the grown-ups in the room. I spent some time checking my phone and uploading photos. That was much more entertaining than that cartoon.
But, after a program change during which only a handful of people abandoned their seats, the AOTS panel began in all it's glory. The show's hosts, Munn and Kevin Pereira, were joined by special correspondent/writer Blair Butler and two producers or something that nobody really cared about. They began with an introduction from Apple founder and CEO Steve Jobs, or at least somebody with a turtleneck and glasses, and we all got to hum the AOTS theme on kazoos that were handed out before the panel. It's a tough theme to hum on a kazoo, mostly because the actual theme music is kind of electronic and drum driven, and doesn't really have a melody as much as a computerized, robot-esque rap of the show's name. Butler said it best when she said it sounded like "we're being attacked by thousands of bees!"
The panel itself was great; they talked about how they come up with the most popular segment on the show, which is "Around The Net." Basically, they have interns sift through the billions of internet videos out there to come up with 20 potentially show-worthy clips. The hosts and writers debate and come up with the top five, and rank them accordingly. Since the No. 1 video usually leads to some kind of stunt or skit or various other hijinks, they're usually pretty awesome. The recent example they showed us was a video of a little kid trying hot sauce and freaking out, which led to the hosts having a shot-for-shot competition to see who could drink more tabasco. For the record, Kevin "won" with 11 shots, but both he and Olivia went into pretty graphic detail about how awful the next few days were for them as the hot sauce made its fiery exit. And Olivia unabashedly discussed the topic, an unusual move for someone of her sex appeal status, but somehow she pulled it off, like she always does. Bravo.
Another highlight was a clip they put together of a trailer for a new (and fake, for the record) live-action Inspector Gadget movie that seemed inspired by the movie Taken, about a man who rescues his kidnapped daughter. I'm sure it'll be on the internet soon enough...if it isn't already. Since Olivia has a part in the upcoming Iron Man sequel, she talked about that until Kevin revealed that he, too, had a part in the movie, and that he had brought a clip. I won't spoil it for you, but... OK I'll spoil it, it's just him, waving in front of a green screen, dubbed into a clip from the first Iron Man. Classic setup, great acting, punch line... punched.
Oh, and then the panel ended with one of Kevin's dreams coming true: a nerd rave.
If you pause the clip at about 4 seconds in, and look to the left of the screen for a red dot in the middle of yellow, green and white lights... that's me. I had a red glow stick for the nerd rave. And I rocked that red glow stick's face.
After that, I have to be honest... I was pretty much done. I managed to find a quiet little corner to have a quick bite to eat and write down some notes, then I walked the floor for a while before deciding to call it a day (at about 4:30). Olivia still had her Star Wars-related duties to attend to, but I was led to understand that the only way to get access to a Star Wars event at the Con is to have been born in the room where it was scheduled to take place, otherwise it was already full.
Not that I didn't have a few more random sightings, including Danny DeVito:
...some goth cheerleaders...? (That seems contradictory...)
...the coolest and simultaneously nerdiest kid ever (aka Master Chief Jr.):
...a walking, talking car named Bumblebee:
...a "Twilight is gay" t-shirt:
...G4 TV personality and comedian Chris Hardwick:
...and whatever this is...?
By the time I got home, I was pretty pooped -- not quite like what was described in the hot sauce aftermath, but probably just as sore and confused -- and ready to just sit and relax......and gather my strength for tomorrow, when AOTS shoots a live show from their two-story stage on the floor at the Con. If you get G4, make sure to watch the show, which starts at 1 pm Saturday, to see if your favorite reporter/blogger makes it into the background on live television.
Whatever goes down, you know I'll be right back here to tell you about, so check back in to see what kind of trouble I get myself into next...
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